Naruto One Shots: What Has The World Come To?
by psytronix
Summary: A collection of Naruto/X (No gosh darn yaoi) oneshots featuring everything but the most niche-est of niches! Enjoy!
1. NaruXFemKiba

**PROPS TO The Immortal Doctor Reid!** He pretty much gave me half the idea of this!

A/N: Hi! This here's the first chapter of this new series of oneshots featuring Naruto and random girls from the series. Ah, and as for a word of warning – a _lot_ of genderbends in these mini stories.

First up, a female Kiba with Naruto!

* * *

Sun blanketed the calm town of Konoha. Trees rustled in the wind, birds chirped peacefully, and children's laughter could be heard in the parks around the village, creating a vibrant and wonderful summer atmosphere that everyone and anyone could enjoy.

Yet somewhere in this peaceful little town, the sixteen year old Kira Inuzuka was face to face with her eternal rival, Naruto Uzumaki. Said ramen addict was in the middle of his daily regimen before the Inuzuka beauty boldly showed up, and it seemed she had a proposition to offer him.

"So… that's it, then? If I win, you have to be my "slave" for a week, and if I lose…" Naruto said, relaying the details of the challenge she had laid before him minutes previously. Kira gained a menacing grin, baring her canines and trying to intimidate the blonde. She was currently without her canine companion Akamaru, but it was always like that when she fought with Naruto.

"You have to be my _bitch_, for a month!" She declared, puffing her chest proudly, and eager to win. Naruto rubbed the back of his head with a pondering look on his face, before cracking a grin of his own at her.

"That hardly seems fair, but, what the heck. I've never said no to a challenge before and I'm certainly not saying "no" now!" Naruto said, jumping a few metres back from Kira to prepare himself for their no-doubt potentially destructive scrap. Kira let out a boisterous laugh, and stepped back a touch as well.

"You're on, Naruto!" She shouted, getting on all fours – a characteristic of the Inuzuka fighting stance. Naruto let his imagination wonder only for a split second.

'_She doesn't look too bad when she's like that…'_ He chuckled to himself mentally.

It was a long, arduous fight, yet Naruto's stamina and quick thinking allowed him to dodge and outlast almost every one of Kira's attacks. In the end, she was on the ground, panting, with Naruto standing over her. He cracked her a cocky smile.

"My place at seven, slave. I'm already thinking of some ways to utilise your skills perfectly…" Naruto said menacingly. Kira grunted in disbelief and anger, before sighing.

"You got lucky, _Naruto_." She bit back in reply. Naruto chuckled at her expense. He then left in a hurry, possibly to get a bite to eat. She looked at the watch on her wrist, seeing the time to be around six thirty.

'_What in the hell is he going to make me do?'_ Kira thought to herself. Sure, he was as innocent as a goofball could be, but he was also known as the "number one unpredictable ninja" around the entire ninja world.

And that was for no small merit, either.

Alas, seven 'o' clock came around faster than she wanted, yet Kira begrudgingly shuffled her way to Naruto's home.

(Mere Minutes Later)

Naruto sat on his lounge, which faced the front door to his spacious apartment. He heard footsteps approaching and smiled, before standing up, with an item in his hand he thought would rile Kira up perfectly. She opened the door without knocking, like she always had when she visited him with a scornful look on her face.

Her mood soured even more when she saw the "item" in his hand.

"No. I'm not wearing those." She stated simply and strongly. Naruto chuckled, with a hint of wickedness underlying.

"You're my slave, Kira. If you don't wear this, then I can always make you work around the house _naked._" Naruto said evilly, making Kira's skin crawl. She gave him a firm look, however, and stared him right in the eye.

"You wouldn't _dare_." She said in response. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"A challenge is a challenge, isn't it? And you certainly wouldn't want to be labelled as someone who dishonours a challenge, would you?" Naruto asked her. Her eyes widened in realisation, before she cast her head down and quickly snatched the pair of costume dog-ears from his hand.

She slammed the front door shut before quickly fastening the ears to her head hurriedly. Naruto simply smirked at the Inuzuka woman.

'_Always the prideful one, Kira.' _Naruto thought to himself. Though he had to admit, looking her up and down, he was surprised at how much she had changed from the annoying "Chihuahua" to the fine woman she was today.

Heck, he had only been back in Konoha for a month and hadn't even noticed.

'_Who knows, maybe I can put this "slavery" to good use…'_ Naruto thought to himself evilly.

Time passed slowly for Kira, as she moved through room and room of Naruto's new apartment, organising, sweeping, cleaning, and tidying the place. She looked at the watch on her hand after what felt like an eternity and huffed in anger.

'_It's only eight 'o' clock? What the hell?'_ Kira thought, sitting down on Naruto's lounge for a well-earned break. She sat there, staring up the ceiling for a good few minutes before huffing again and standing up. She heard her name being called from one of the rooms she had yet to clean.

"What? What is it, Naruto?" She asked him. Naruto made his appearance in front of her swiftly, which startled her. He sent a goofy grin her way and rubbed the back of his head.

"I'd like some dinner, pup. There are ingredients in the shelves over there, and you should be able to find everything else pretty easily." Naruto said, throwing a thumb back and pointing to the higher shelves. Kira growled at his comment and gritted her teeth.

She bit her bottom lip to prevent herself from lashing out at him, however.

'_Who knows what he might make me do…' _She thought to herself. She sighed and looked up at him.

"Well? What do you want?" She asked, referring to the kind of meal he'd prefer. Although she thought she knew his answer, anyway. Naruto got a glint in his eye that spelt mischief, but Kira dismissed it as nothing.

"Use your imagination, pup." He said cockily, which made Kira grit her teeth harshly once more. She was unable to prevent herself from lashing out at him verbally now, however.

"Fuck you, runt!" She yelled at the rambunctious blonde, who simply smirked at her with indifference.

"You can run your mouth all you want, my little terrier, but you master wants his dinner. I suggest you hurry along. Wouldn't want to disappoint and… be punished, would you?" Naruto asked her sinisterly, which made her stand back in fear of him. She gulped nervously yet still snarled at him, before moving to the shelves in the kitchen.

Her thoughts drifted to his choice of meal, however.

'_Maybe he's changed what he eats, varied it a little so he gets more nutrition, rather than just ramen all the time…' _She thought, before opening up the cupboards and sighing.

'_Nope. Just ramen.'_ Kira thought, pulling out a few packets of the instant ramen, along with some flavourings and dried vegetables to add to the broth. She looked around his kitchen for a moment, then stalked on over to his fridge, looking for some meat she could cook along with the noodles.

Tracing her finger in the air, glancing over the various cuts of meat, she didn't notice her new "master" was overlooking her gleefully, out of sight. Naruto stared at her plump, heart-shaped rump, which was inadvertently perked up in the air.

With a smirk on his face, Naruto drifted back into the shadows, beyond Kira's potential eyesight.

Sure, his two-year training trip with Jiraiya gave the old hermit a chance to corrupt the young blonde, and Naruto took to that corruption like a thirsty horse to cool water. However, Naruto sought to change some things about his newfound behaviour, after keenly observing Jiraiya for those two years.

He prided himself in being a more… "classy" pervert.

Which, in all of its sheer complexity as a lifestyle, ultimately boiled down to not openly admitting the fact he was, or to not getting caught in the act of being said pervert.

Not getting caught was the best part, after all.

Kira, not knowing of the presence behind her, continued on making the ramen her "master" so craved, all the while huffing and puffing angrily. Her anger simmered down enough before she finished up the final touches on the meal however, and dinner was served soon.

"Naruto! Come and get your damn dinner!" Kira called out to him. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up unearthly as she sensed something she didn't like the feel of. Naruto made his appearance eerily and smiled an unsettling smile.

"I have a new rule you must follow, pup. You are only to refer to me as "master", or "alpha". Are we clear?" Naruto asked seriously. Kira looked at him wide eyed, before throwing her gaze down heatedly.

"Yes…" She responded with her teeth grinding. Naruto's smirk grew till it resembled his old foxy grin.

"Yes, what?" He asked again, which made the Inuzuka woman shiver in anger.

"Yes… master…" Kira answered again, her voice shaking in pure rage.

Never, and she really meant _never_ would she, a proud Inuzuka woman call _this_ clanless runt her "alpha". Kira realised it might have been just to stir her, but a small part of her sensed the underlying implications of his message.

Nevertheless, and with a curse, she set out the food for her temporary "master" and sat down to eat with him, quietly eating her own serving of noodles. She looked at the size of the bowls she served the meal in and noted that his was much larger than hers, but attributed it to the fact that the dude loved his ramen too much.

'_Huh. Must've not even thought about it…' _She thought to herself, digging in to the tasty broth.

Naruto inhaled deeply and admired the spicy and sweet smell of the noodles, before scooping up some noodles with a piece of marinated meat. He graciously consumed the portion of the meal and smiled a genuine smile.

'_This ramen is… pretty damn amazing…'_ Naruto thought to himself.

"You know, with that kind of submissiveness and this kind of cooking, you'd make a great wife someday." Naruto jabbed at her expense, which made her huff in disappointment more than anything.

"Pfft, yeah right. My sister's the girly-girl who gets all the boys to like her…" Kira remarked quietly, slurping a bundle of noodles afterwards. Naruto's interest perked up at the response to his quip.

"Oh? And what about you, pup?" He asked her. She was now too far in to her depression to get angry at his other jab.

"Me? I'm more used to yelling at boys and fighting them." She responded. Naruto looked oddly at Kira for a moment.

"Well, what about us? I mean, we're friends." Naruto countered. Kira looked up at him with a tired look and took another chunk of meat from the ramen in her chopsticks.

"Yeah, but half of the time we spend together, we fight. And the other half…" She began.

"And the other half?" Naruto asked.

"I'd rather not talk about the other half." Kira said with a shiver.

"So… What kind of guy _would_ you be interested in, Kira?" Naruto asked her seriously. Her mood got a little brighter as she began to think about her perfect guy. It was two minutes of silence and deep thought before Kira spoke up once more.

"Well… He would certainly have to be… balanced, I guess. Not touchy-feely, but not a complete pig or a chauvinist or anything, y'know?" She began, slowly losing interest in her meal.

Naruto nodded in listening, with noodles hanging from his own mouth.

Kira sighed before continuing, thinking about it some more.

"He would also have to have a backbone. He'd have to be respectful. He'd have to call me out when I do stupid things, and he'd also have to treat me as an equal." She continued. Naruto noticed the lowly rising temperature of the house, but paid no mind to it as his full attention was drawn to his slave.

"Go on…" Naruto said, after swallowing the clump of noodles and chewed meat.

"I want a man who would go all out against me, yet still see me as a lady at the end of the day. I…" Kira began, getting into her train of thought more so than she thought possible.

"I… I want a man who knows how to play rough…" She said, blushing ever-so-slightly. Kira felt the heat too, and with her blush, decided to take off her jacket, hoping it would help her some. A little bit of cleavage could be seen poking out of her shirt.

Naruto smirked at that.

"Not to toot my own horn or anything, Kira, but that sounds a lot like me…" Naruto said, with a saucy stare at his new slave. She scoffed at his response, yet couldn't but blush a little at his pointing out.

"Yeah right, I bet you wouldn't even know how to _kiss_ a woman, Uzumaki." Kira challenged him boldly, to which Naruto stood up, and quickly moved towards her, face to face.

"A bet, is it? I'll be happy to take you up on that, _Kira…_" Naruto said hotly, moving to whisper in her ear. His hot breath which somehow had been void of any trace of ramen scent blew past her cheek and made her spine tingle.

Naruto then graciously placed his hands on her cool cheeks and took her soft, pink lips in a deep kiss, starting off slowly and shallow. He was bold enough to deepen the kiss, parting her lips and invading her mouth with his tongue, slowly and sensually locking lips with the Inuzuka woman, who was crumbling at the sensation.

He traced his tongue over one of her sharpened canines and moaned in pleasure, as Kira started to kiss him back, a bit rougher and with more force than he had. They broke away shortly, Kira gasping for air, her face flushed red, and her heart pounding erratically.

Naruto smiled a coy smile in her direction.

"Alright… new competition, Naruto…" She began, through quick breaths. She stood up from her seat shakily and held onto Naruto by his shoulders. She looked him straight in the eye, with a clearly lustful glimmer in her look.

"We kiss, and the first person to break away for a breath has to remove one item of clothing. Sound like a good competition?" She ruled, to which Naruto responded by picking her up by the buttocks, and walking her over to his lounge.

Kira was shocked to say the least, but only made a yelp in surprise. She didn't resist his advancements in the slightest. She saw him above her, with a smile that seemed both warm and flirtatious. It made her feel hot, and the heat rose up to her cheeks.

"Sounds like fun, Kira…" Naruto said, before meeting her soft pink lips in a heated and passionate kiss. Kira was prepared and tried to outdo him this time, wrapping her arms around his neck and dancing around his tongue with hers.

It was minutes before she broke from him to catch her breath, her cheeks a deep red both from her reservedness and her own lack of oxygen. Naruto chuckled at her, yet still smiled warmly. She looked up at him a little worriedly.

"That'll be your shirt, Kira…" He said, lifting the offending piece of clothing up and over her head. She momentarily let go of him to help disrobe, but quickly wrapped her arms around him once more. She kissed up the length of his neck slowly and sensually before meeting his gaze again.

"…Alright, round two…" She said quietly, with a small smile.

(Minutes Later)

Kira was now all but topless, and yet the couple were still kissing, Naruto still enjoying his partner's voluptuous body and roaming his hands over her uncovered breasts. Kira moaned into their kiss heartily when he began toying with her nipples, and broke away from him once more.

"Hah… Alright… New challenge, Naruto…" Kira said through breaths, as Naruto began nibbling at her left ear lobe. She moaned and felt her insides burning up. Naruto backed away from teasing her to look on at her blushing face, his gaze to hers.

"So fine, maybe you know how to kiss a woman… But I bet you don't know how to _touch_ a woman…" She challenged him, to which he grinned his foxy grin, baring his canines.

"I think I'll take you up on that challenge, Kira…" Naruto said, cupping her soft cheek in one hand and kissing her lovingly and slowly, before roaming his hands on her hips to begin, gradually stroking and caressing her bountiful curves, then moving upwards. He took her left breast in the palm of his hand and began tenderly massaging it, moving around every so often to brush his thumb over her nipple.

Her stifled moans of raw pleasure only served to further him on in his efforts.

Naruto then took her right nipple in his mouth, which made Kira gasp. Naruto sucked on the nipple and rolled his tongue around the areola, enjoying the feeling of her warm skin in his mouth. Naruto moaned as Kira began to grind her body into his, rhythmically and heatedly.

"Na… Naruto… I'm gonna'…" The canine woman began, unable to finish her sentence as a scream sounded through the apartment, a shocking and heavy orgasm pulsing through her body. Naruto looked up to Kira with a cheeky grin, with her nipple still in his mouth.

Kira forcefully brought him up and planted a frisky, adoring kiss on his lips and sighed as she looked into his eyes, breaking away from him for a split second to catch her breath. They lost themselves in each other, as silence dawned for minutes, neither breaking gaze nor moving from their comfortable position in each other's arms.

_'God, she's pretty…'_

_'Damn, he's handsome…'_

A smirk grew on Kira's face, as did a slight blush. She put her hands on his chest and pushed him against the lounge chair he was sitting in, moving atop the young blonde. She kissed and nipped at his lower lip with her sharp teeth, running her hands all over his firm chest.

"You make me cum once and you're a big man, all of a sudden?" She chuckled huskily.

Naruto withdrew his hand from her ass and quickly brought it back down, a sharp crack echoing around the room.

"Fuck!" Kira whimpered.

"I've wanted you under me since the chunin exam!" She blurted out afterwards, silently loving the dominance Naruto was asserting over her.

"Those are some pretty kinky thoughts for a twelve year old, Kira." Naruto laughed, revelling in his current position.

She responded by dragging a clawed finger down his ribcage, making him shiver uncontrollably.

"That's not what I meant, jackass! …But this is better than what I was thinking of… Hey Naruto…" She said, her voice dripping with ulterior motive and the clear tonality from an unprecedented orgasmic aftermath.

"Yes, Kira?" Naruto answered. Kira's smile grew lecherously and she leant down to whisper in his ear.

"I bet you don't know how to _fuck_ a woman…" She purred, which made Naruto quiver in delight. He could feel his manhood pressing up against his (now) oddly confining clothes, and decided to change that. Naruto smiled and gave Kira a peck on her lips before breaking away from their quirky embrace to undress.

In a matter of mere milliseconds, Naruto was left down to his boxers, which did nothing to conceal his eager and large erection. Naruto leapt at Kira and once more pinned her down, much to her struggle, laying over her as he grabbed both sides of her partially soaked pant legs.

He looked at her with a devious smile and ripped her trousers off, revealing a pair of neutral grey panties, and causing Kira to blush a dark shade of red, followed by a startled yelp. She did nothing to try and hide it, in fact, she pushed a finger inside and pulled her underwear to the side, giving Naruto his first look at paradise.

"Take a good look, big boy. You like?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

The adventurous blonde positioned his head between her thighs and began slowly removing her soaked undergarments. Naruto came back and saw the Inuzuka woman's trimmed "valley", and began by slowly licking upwards from Kira's centre; lapping up her juices eagerly and making her moan and squeal in decadent bliss.

"Oh, fuck! That's good! Good, good, fucking good!" She squeaked throatily, her mind lost in an orgasmic haze.

Kira's vision waned once more as she inadvertently grabbed the back of Naruto's head, holding on to his spiky locks, and forced him deeper between her legs, with pleasurable and unimaginable sensations wracking her body. Naruto smiled at the amount of force she applied and countered by sliding his tongue between her folds.

"Good boy, such a good boy!" She squealed tauntingly as she humped against his face, forcing his tongue deeper.

Naruto growled, obviously not liking her way of addressing him, which sent vibrations through her wet cavern that made her feel "fan-fucking-tastic". He pulled his face away from her pussy and bit down on the tender flesh of her inner thigh, making her whimper like a kicked puppy.

"You like that, little bitch?" He asked, the growl still in his throat.

"I'm...I'm not your...bitch, Naruto..." She replied breathlessly.

"Not...yet..." She added, which made Naruto smile evilly.

"Damn right!" He told her, getting back to work on the burst dam between her legs.

Kira drew a quick gasp of air and arched her back as another orgasm was sent through her body. Naruto smiled and lapped up her juices languidly, before meeting Kira's gaze. He moved himself upwards, over her, and grabbed her thighs roughly, positioning her _just_ right. Kira noticed his still clothed manhood, and growled in annoyance. She grabbed the sides of his boxers and ripped them off as if they were mere strands of wet paper. Naruto beamed at her rough side, and evilly remarked to himself how powerless she seemed in this situation.

"If you ever become my slave, Naruto, pants are a no-go, you hear?" Kira breathed as Naruto began sliding his length over her glistening folds. The blonde just chuckled as he began his insertion.

"I'd like to see that happen, my little _pup._" Naruto said, emphasising his words by quickly entering the shocked Inuzuka woman. She gasped in slight pain, and massive amounts of pleasure as his warmth radiated through her.

She didn't know when or how, but soon the two were in their quirky embrace, neither wanting to let go of the other as Naruto began thrusting inside her in rhythm, pressing chest to chest, Kira dragging her nails along his back in a pleasured rush.

Minutes passed like this, until Naruto slowed his pace down, and as Kira's moans grew in volume. He shifted himself to suck on her bouncing breasts.

"Ah, ah, ah! C-Cumming!" She yelled as the familiar orgasmic rush wrought through her.

"Fuck! I am too!" Naruto grunted in sheer desire, loving her tight, hot folds. He pulled himself out of the boisterous woman and exploded over her stomach. Kira groaned as the hot, liquid landed on her otherwise cool chest. Curiously, coming down from her high, she wiped a bit of the white liquid off with her finger and lazily licked it off, savouring the odd taste.

Naruto saw this, and grinned at her behaviour.

"With that kind of attitude, it seems you've already submitted to my will, _Kira_." Naruto said, making her do a double-take. He saw the red rise to her cheeks before she angrily pinned him down on his lounge for the second time.

She lied over him, her lower lips grazing past his large length, and moaned softly.

"Not yet, Uzumaki. You've got quite the night ahead of you if you think I'm done for…" She said, before sliding herself onto him. Naruto howled in pleasure as she began to bounce on him, and admired the sight of her jiggling, ample sized breasts as she went on.

The night went on like this, both of them trying their best to outdo (in quite a literal sense) each other.

Needless to say, no one lost that day.

(The Morning After)

Naruto woke up to the sensation of light kisses being planted on his chest. He opened his eyes to the sight of Kira, wearing one of his old jackets that still fitted her smaller frame, but couldn't be zipped up due to her chest.

"Hey." She smiled.

A smile.

Not the patented "Inuzuka 'I'm being a complete bitch and I know it" smirk, but an honest to god smile.

"Hey." He replied.

"Why are you wearing my old jacket?" He asked, not that it bothered him much. In fact, he thought she looked cute in it.

"Got cold." She responded simply.

"Smells like you." She added.

"Oh." He wrapped his arm around her tighter and finally noticed that somehow they ended up in his bed.

"Naruto?" He heard her now meek voice ask.

"Yeah?" He asked, seeing her smile drop slightly and a frown beginning to mar her pretty tattooed face.

"So are we..." Her voice, for once, was hesitant, unsure, she was trying to carefully choose her words.

"...Like, boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever now?" She asked him.

Naruto kissed her chastely, not the rough passionate lip locks of the day before, but a gentler, loving peck, a promise of things to come. He tried not to enjoy the small keening noise that escaped her mouth when he broke the kiss.

"Yep." One word, one word that brought the sunshine back into her face a hundredfold.

"Cool. So what's for breakfast?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"Ah, come on, you can't ask your girlfriend to be your slave!" She protested cutely.

Naruto gave her a hard look.

"Geez, fine. But I want to get rewarded for my hard work every night! Got that!" He demanded playfully. Kira nodded with a deep red blush. She then got a curious look in her eye at that moment.

"How many of these jackets do you have?" Kira asked.

"I must have a million at least." Naruto commented, offhandedly.

"Soooo, can I keep this?" She asked eagerly, sticking her nose against the collar and breathing deeply.

"If you want." He agreed.

"Thanks, babe." Naruto blushed at her unfortunate endearment. Kira stood and using her sharp fingernails, carved a large, thick strip of orange cloth from the jacket. Naruto watch with curiosity as she tied it around her neck. She laughed slightly at his raised eyebrow.

"Well, if I'm going to be a slave for the rest of the week, I may as well look the part, master." She cooed, glad he was ignorant of Inuzuka Clan laws. Naruto smirked at that comment, and remembered the passion of the night before.

"Alright then… Your first task of the day is to get back in bed, Kira." Naruto ordered.

"I think I can manage that, sir." Twelve year old Kira Inuzuka would've been shocked at her older self's actions. Who knew a stupid bet would've ended her childish game of "Hide your feelings behind insults"?

But now her feelings were out and she was in bed with Naruto Uzumaki, her boyfriend, lover, master, for the rest of the week at least, and according to the orange fabric around her neck and the fact that she submitted, all night long, to Naruto, her Alpha.

She got on her hands and knees, spreading her legs to give him full access.

There was no shame, how could there be? It was all his, anyways.

"Give me everything you got, big boy!" She told him, casting a lust-filled glance over her shoulder.

Naruto took in the sight for a few seconds before mounting his Kira. _His_ Kira, he was the only one who deserved her, because he was the only one man enough to claim her as his. Everything from her pouty lips to her curvy hips, all _his_. With a growl, he pierced her like a sword, sinking deeper inside her until his crotch smacked against her jiggling ass.

"Yessssh!" Came her half-strangled cry. He kept thrusting, knowing that neither he nor she would stop until they were both exhausted, boneless piles of pleasure.

It was good to be the Alpha Dog.


	2. NaruXFemKaka

**Me and The Immortal Doctor Reid both wrote this! Check his stuff out now. Fucking seriously.**

A/N: This one's a story with Naruto and a female Kakashi!

* * *

"Phew!" Naruto exclaimed exhaustedly, reclining on his bed at his new home. He had just finished up his spar alongside Sakura against his sensei, Kimiko. It was an examination more than anything, a test to see how far they had come after two years of solid training.

Naruto, with the perverted hermit Jiraiya, and Sakura, with the drunken gambler Tsunade.

Kimiko seemed pleased at the end of the day though, and Naruto was grateful for that. However, coming back to Konoha after so long had made him think on old thoughts.

There were some serious ones, like how he was going to bring Sasuke back to Konoha, and other, stupid memories he thought he had suppressed long, long ago.

This memory was the quest to find out _just_ what Kimiko looked like under her mask.

Naruto wasn't above perverseness himself, as he often remarked on what a wonderful body his sensei had.

However, this made him question why she wore piece of clothing all the more.

Did she have a butter-face? A gap tooth? Scars? No skin, or something?

Naruto shook his head.

It was unwise to think like a child, and it was best to let it go and move on.

'_On second thought… Finding out what she looks like might clear my mind up more than just __not_ _thinking about it…" _Naruto thought to himself, before jumping out of bed and having a shower.

He then changed into a simple, unremarkable get up, determined not only to find his sensei, but to find out what she looked like under that piece of black cloth.

Thusly, he exited his humble adobe and ventured onwards and outwards to find his sensei.

(A few minutes later)

After searching several bars, overlooks, and nooks, Naruto felt the fruitlessness of the search weigh down on him, and decided to get some food to reenergise himself. He looked to the setting sun and smiled.

Ichiraku's Ramen was his next stop.

(Two Minutes Later)

Naruto poked his head under the awning of the ramen stall and grinned at the old man who ran the shop. Teuchi sent a smirk back to him and instinctively moved to cook up a massive bowl of noodles, just for his number one customer.

It was a wordless, glorious transaction that transcended mere mortal forms of communication.

Thusly, Naruto sat down without saying a word, ready to fork out a hefty sum of money for the hard working ramen chefs. He darted his gaze to the right lazily, noticing one or two vagrants or tourists passing through.

He then turned his gaze to his right and found the person he had been looking for, who was _way_ too entranced in her book to notice him.

Or so it seemed, what with her being a high class ninja, and all.

"Sensei, Fancy seeing you here!" Naruto said in his odd form of greeting. Kimiko turned her eye to him and smiled (he couldn't see or really describe how she did it, but he knew she was smiling at him) at the young man.

"Naruto." She greeted back, nodding her head in his direction. Naruto looked into the kitchen of the stall and reasoned that his meal wouldn't be ready for another couple of minutes.

'_Good. Plenty of time to get started…'_ He thought with determination. He turned his attention to his sensei once more and eyed her seriously. After sneakily and subtly creating some shadow clones, he brought up some distracting conversation with the apathetic kunoichi.

"Hey, sensei, what are you reading?" Naruto asked innocently enough, which made Kimiko seem uncomfortable – just for a split second. She moved her one eyed stare to him again and replied back;

"Eh, just the latest Icha Icha from Jiraiya. I'm loving the story, though…" She said, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks, when she stared at Naruto. He covertly sent the clones behind her and prepared them to take her mask off.

"Another one of those corny erotic novels from the old perv, huh?" Naruto asked her rhetorically. Kimiko just shook her head and sighed. The clone was mere inches away from removing her mask.

"You know, you'd like this novel if you gave it a shot, Naruto. You could learn a lot from them…" Kimiko drawled, obviously too enchanted by the story to continue on. Naruto shook his head and sighed nonchalantly, commanding his clone to act then.

The clone reached for the mask and just about pulled the piece of clothing off Kimiko's face, but all it revealed was a second mask of the exact same cloth, covering her face still. The copycat ninja simply bopped the clone on the head and continued reading on.

However, before she did that, she made sure to hide the book away from the clone's eyes.

Naruto huffed in anger, before turning his gaze away.

"Fell for the same damn trick twice…" He mumbled. Kimiko obviously heard this and laughed quietly.

"You know what they say, Naruto; Fool you once, shame on me, fool you twice, and it looks like you have a crush on your sensei." Kimiko commented slyly. Naruto looked at her embarrassingly, and waved his hands up in defence.

"What?! No I don't!" He reprimanded, to which she giggled in amusement.

"Sure you do, you're the one trying to take my mask off." She said back, which made him shrink down in his seat in anger. He absorbed his clones memories then, however, and noticed something odd.

'_Huh? Did she just hide her book from me? She never does that…'_ He thought. Kimiko was always fine with reading smut in public. Heck, she'd even read it aloud sometimes, just to put the old Team 7 on edge.

It was certainly odd seeing her hide it away from him, and he decided to investigate. If he couldn't get her mask off, maybe getting her book would distract her long enough so he could do it. Plus, it'd be much easier to go for her pockets than her face.

Soon enough, their meals arrived, and Naruto praised Teuchi's timing. Kimiko thanked the old man and put her book away to eat her meal. Whilst Naruto ate his ramen, he made another clone to nab her book swiftly.

As Kimiko cleverly hid her face from view and began eating her meal, the clone moved sneakily for the kill and snatched the book, before bolting off in a random direction. Kimiko readjusted her mask and looked around for any sign of the boy.

She looked to where he was sitting before and saw nothing but a thick wad of ryo bills and an empty, massive bowl.

She sighed before running out in a huff to search for the blonde, hoping he wouldn't read the book.

(Minutes Later)

Naruto cackled to himself in an almost mad fashion as he attempted to read the cover of the book, praising his abilities in finding a secluded area hidden away from the public, and hopefully from his sensei.

Before he could even _peek_ at the novel, his sensei came face to face with him. Their noses brushed against one another in an oddly stimulating fashion and caused Naruto's throat to lock up.

"If you wanted to borrow a book from me, Naruto, all you had to do was ask." Kimiko said to a Naruto who couldn't respond. A shocked look and a deep blush adorned his face, and she wanted to tease him for taking her book from her.

"You know, if I didn't have this mask on, it'd look like we were kissing." She said, feeling a similar heat rising to her cheeks as her feelings for the young man in front of her came to surface. Naruto swallowed a lump in his throat mutely in response. She placed her hands on Naruto's cheeks, which made him widen his eyes in shock.

"All you had to do was ask if you wanted see under here, Naruto." Kimiko said, before lowering her mask carefully. Naruto tried to get a glimpse of her full face, but was caught off guard when Kimiko moved to plant her lips on his, catching him in a kiss.

'_What the hell is happening? And why does it feel so good?'_ Naruto thought, not doing anything to move from the kiss, even after Kimiko moved in to tangle her tongue with hers lightly. Naruto was able to taste her then, and moaned deeply into the kiss.

Kimiko pulled away, breaking the somewhat chaste peck that knocked the air out of his lungs, revealing to Naruto for the first time the entirety of her features.

That was when Naruto finally began to understand the need for his sensei's face-mask.

If she went on missions without it, every enemy ninja she came across would most likely surrender on the spot for a chance to be with her – male _or_ female.

She was beyond beautiful, and Naruto was gawking and stunned ever more. She smiled at him cutely, and Naruto felt his heart beat hard.

She closed her eyes and shook her head, enhancing her already near perfect visage.

"My, my, Naruto, if you were so desperate for a good read, I wouldn't mind reading to you." She said with a small, sweet sounding laugh.

Naruto didn't say anything, still dazed and breathless from the surprise lip-lock from the woman who may have been the subject of two or three (hundred thousand) rather awkward dreams.

"You're in luck actually; this is now my personal favourite, Icha Icha: Student Seduction." She flicked through the pages until she came to a stop. Naruto was still entranced by her untold beauty, thus he stood there and absorbed her words.

"Ah, here we are. The scene where "Keiko-sensei" reveals her hidden desire to her oblivious pupil, "Menma-kun."" Kimiko began, regaling Naruto with tales of love, lust, and desire.

After that passage, Naruto gained a new appreciation for what Jiraiya and his sensei/girlfriend called art.

It may have been smut to him, but he couldn't deny that smut sounded pretty good when she read it out.

* * *

**Omake?**

"Are you ready to try what I taught you, Naruto?" Kimiko asked her lover, who was minutes away from a night of unrivalled pleasure. He gulped nervously and nodded, before hearing a giggling sound which emanated from outside Kimiko's apartment.

(Outside)

"And they said student/teacher relationships would never be a plausible reality. Well this is living-goddamned-proof, right here!" Jiraiya mumbled to himself, perched upon a tree branch with notepad and pen in hand, furiously taking down notes on the two.

He saw that Kimiko had disappeared from the bedroom however, and got a curious look.

Before he heard the sounds of crackling lightning behind him. Kimiko had her hands formed in the seal of her "thousand years of pain" jutsu, along with a copious amount of lightning chakra pulsating through her fingers.

All of which was aimed directly for Jiraiya's unsuspecting rectum.

"Oh no…" He cursed himself, before said fingers made contact with said rectum.

"Millennium Thunderbird technique!"

(A few minutes later)

Naruto watched on at the scene with unprecedented interest, before Kimiko appeared in front of him.

"You aren't going to do that to me, are you, Kimi?" Naruto asked her, in fear of his own anus.

"No, 'Ruto. Not unless you want me to, anyway. Now… where were we?" Kimiko asked her lover, before taking his lips in a kiss again.

* * *

A/N: Woah.


	3. NaruXFemLee

A/N: As always, check out The Immortal Doctor Reid immediately. If he wasn't with me, here, these stories wouldn't be a quarter of the quality they are now.

In fact, these stories wouldn't _exist_ if it wasn't for The Immortal Doctor Reid.

* * *

Two highly experienced and regarded ninja walked side by side, as happy as could be in such a situation, on a mission to Kumogakure – The Village Hidden in the Clouds. Naruto Uzumaki, recently promoted Jounin, alongside his companion, Lei, a not-so-recently promoted Elite Jounin, casually walked on through the matted forests of the Land of Fire.

It was a simple mission to check up on Konoha's new ally, and thusly it made the trip all the more peaceful. It gave Naruto a break from his "Hokage Training" with Tsunade, and it gave Lei a chance to get her name heard across the lands. It was a simple, one day trip to get to Kumogakure for the both of them.

And for the both of them, this simple mission was a chance to ignite a spark of youthfulness and passion between themselves.

It would be sight that would make Maito Gai cry out of sheer joy, in seeing it.

You see, these two held deep, hidden feelings for one another. Lei appreciated the young Uzumaki something fierce. He was one of her friends who didn't care about how she looked, what shade of green jumpsuit she wore, or what angle her bowl cut was cut at.

He was just a friend who cared about being her friend because of who she _was_, and that made Lei happy.

That, and the fact that Naruto was the only person who could match her stamina, made her happy.

As for Naruto, here? Well, it went back to when he first met Lei at the Chunin Exams. She had challenged Sasuke to a fight, and promptly won. But when she laid her eyes on Naruto, and when he laid his on her, sparks flew.

Not the kind of visible, out-in-the-open romantic sparks, but those that would ignite the flames of youth in their hearts, some years later.

You see, Naruto had been branded "weird" all his life. Granted, he didn't care much for the brand, but it stuck. He ate ramen for almost every meal, wore orange most of the time, and resorted to the oddest methods of defeating his enemies.

Well, those methods always worked out in his favour, but it was hard being seen as the "weird guy" for most of his life. He had some friends, he had some rivals, but he didn't have his _best_ friend.

That all changed when they had the chance to _really_ talk after the first exam.

So, time and time again, during the break between the second and third Chunin Exams, Lei would talk to Naruto, and they would train until the sun descended and ascended, only to eat, rest, and repeat the process over and over again.

And all the time, Naruto felt happy to be with someone who cared about being his friend for who _he_ was, and only for who he was.

Yes, the two were as happy as they could be, on a mission where there were no evil masterminds planning on taking over the world, where there was no defending someone else's honour, and where there was no one else, except themselves.

The two had been talking, catching up on past times and on how they had been going after the war. After all, Naruto hadn't the chance to talk almost anyone after his defeat of Madara Uchiha. It was a long time of recovery.

Lei brought her head up, her bowl-cut-bangs carelessly blowing in the cool breeze, and noticed the setting sun. Her eyes went wide, and she let out a weird cross between a squeak and a defeated whimper. Naruto chuckled silently and remarked on how cute the sound sounded to his ears. If something was bothering her though, he was a little on edge.

"What is it, Lei?" He asked her in his ever-endearing tone of voice. She looked to him, with her hand pointing to the sky.

"Amidst our youthful chit-chat, we've made terrible time! We'll have to make camp nearby…" Lei pointed out, searching around quickly, and finding a perfect clearing in the forest, devoid of any danger. Naruto followed with a shrug, not really caring either way. Killer Bee and A could wait one more day, anyway.

Without saying anything, the energetic blonde had a massive tent set up in mere minutes, and he stood up from his kneeling position to admire his work. He heard the sound of a "thud" behind him, and noticed that his long-time crush had gathered some stacks of kindling and some firewood. Again, he shrugged it off and silently began to look for any animal that he and his partner could eat.

It would've seemed odd to those just observing the two work together, but to them, it was a normalcy to do things in this fashion, being such a synchronised tag team. Needless to say, Naruto didn't have to look far for some juicy wild boar.

As he went off northwards, Lei looked at the single tent.

'_Oh my! I-I-I'll be sleeping in the same tent as Naruto tonight?'_ She asked herself mentally, remembering that she had not packed for an overnight camp.

(Some hours later)

As Naruto returned with some animals that were freshly skinned, he positioned them on a spit above the roaring flame, and dug in to the impromptu meal with his temporary partner. They sat on a log that was too heavy to be put on the fire, and lusciously reclined on its surprisingly supportive groove. After a good serving, Lei leant back and stretched her arms high in the air.

She yawned cutely, which made Naruto unnoticeably blush behind his long bangs of yellow-blonde hair. Lei looked over into the distance, away from the camp, and blushed slightly as well.

"I just noticed I reek of smoke, Naruto. I'm going to bathe in that nearby lake for a while before I go to bed. I'll be back in a minute or two, okay?" Lei checked with her partner, who nodded absentmindedly and smiled at her. Lei smiled back before running southwards towards the lake she had found whilst searching for firewood.

Naruto let out a breath as she disappeared into the woods, images of her perfect body flooding and corrupting his mind.

'_She's filled out so much over the past couple of years. All I want to do is hold her and love her senselessly…'_ Naruto thought to himself, brushing his hands through his hair. He could feel his throat clench tightly and his cheeks heat up irrevocably as he debated on whether or not he should peep on her.

It wasn't something he'd be proud of, and it was just for this once, right?

(One eighth of a second later)

After having dubiously delved into the moral dilemma set before him, Naruto had thought he had made the correct choice in this scenario, as he stalked southwards after the energetic woman. Various thoughts sneaked their way into his mind as the sun set quickly over the lush, overgrown forest.

Most of them were at varying levels of immaturity though, many of which were too rude and raunchy to even consider transcribing. Naruto tried his hardest to remove the stupidly perverted grin from his face as he neared the lake illuminated by moonlight.

He slowed down to his slowest pace and began utilising his years of ninja experience to sneak up a tree for a gratuitous vantage point. Naruto heard some small sounds of splashing, but thought nothing of it as he hoisted himself upon the massive tree branch.

The sight that awaited him was a surprising and entrancing one, to say the least. The Mini-Green Beast of Konoha herself was propped against a smooth rock lodged in the side of the river bank, her legs spread for the moonlight to see, with two of her fingers thrusting in and out of her moistened folds.

It seemed that spending the day with Naruto had inflamed not only the Flames of Youth in Lei's heart, but her loins as well. Naruto was entranced by the sight, not being able to believe that Lei, the person as innocent as you can be as a ninja, was touching herself while moaning...

His name...

"Oh… Oh… Oh, Narutooo!" Lei whimpered loudly as her powerful release came. Naruto was fixated on her facial expression as she announced his name in orgasmic pleasure, as it contorted into a visage of utter arousal, and yet somehow managed to retain its adorability.

He stayed where he was, watching her body shiver in post-orgasm in the moonlight, her juices dripping from her most sacred area, glistening her fingers. She let out another whimper as she withdrew her fingers and languidly fell limp on the hardness of the river rock.

Naruto was still fixated on her, that he almost didn't catch her speaking ever-so-softly.

"I'm so pathetic…" Lei berated herself, which made Naruto's attention snap back to her.

"I can't even tell him how I feel. Hah… Who am I kidding? He's got the biggest heart of any man in the world, why would he want to be with me?" She asked herself through heavy breaths. Naruto crouched still, but deliberated on moving in to talk to the emotionally battered Lei.

"No! That's no way to talk! Gai-sensei would be ashamed of me for thinking that! I'll… I'll go and confess to Naruto now!" Lei shouted to herself as she leapt up from her then prone position and began running back to camp. Naruto smiled brightly at this new found confidence, and leapt down from his tree.

The only problem was Lei. According to legend, when a woman such as Rock Lei began to run, they were impossible to stop. Naruto was witness to such a legend happening right before his very eyes, as the Green Beast-in-training slammed into him full force, knocking him out cold.

The last thing he remembered was Lei's cute, worried face looking at him with a look of confusion which then morphed into shock.

(Minutes Later)

Naruto woke up to his name being called, to find himself lying in one of the comfortable bedrolls. He noticed his surroundings first, then the soft, yet strong hands that held him gently. He looked up to see the cutest face he'd ever seen.

He smiled at Lei, who breathed a deep sigh of relief at seeing him to be fine.

"I'm so glad you're okay Naruto! I… I have something to tell you…" Lei said, choosing not ask why he was near the lake when she had her bout of self-determination. Naruto's eyes widened as the memory of minutes past came back to him, yet he had the resolve to nod in response.

Lei smiled, but took a deep breath.

"Naruto… I love you. I've loved you ever since we met during the Chunin Exams, and, well…" Lei began strongly, before feeling her throat lock up in embarrassment. Naruto gently caressed her left cheek as she tried to look away from him, and smiled at her as lovingly as he could in his quasi-concussed state.

"Oh Lei, I've felt the same way about you. Ever since I met you, all I've wanted to do is be with you…" Naruto said, as he leant up to catch her lips in a soft, loving kiss. Lei gasped, and kissed back seconds later, with a single tear of happiness escaping her eye. As they broke away, Lei couldn't wipe away the smile from her face, and decided to share a loving hug she'd always wanted to share with him.

So she grabbed him, and pulled him into her warm and loving embrace, both of them forgetting the fact that Lei hadn't bothered to get re-dressed after her lakeside misadventure.

(Later)

After Lei realised that she was still naked, (Naruto didn't really want to remind her) and she re-dressed herself for sleep. Naruto offered her his sleeping bag, not wanting to push her since they had, after all, hugged while she was naked. Lei, being Lei, and just as Naruto, would not hear of it and forced him to share with her.

The next morning they did manage to complete their mission in record time, knowing the sooner they finished, the longer they could take to make their way home.

When they did return to Konoha, they were quickly accosted by Kakashi, Sakura, and the other members of Team Gai, because by the time they got back, they were a week late.

Lei had proudly proclaimed their new relationship and after Gai, Sakura and Ten Ten's hearty congratulations and Kakashi and Neji's quick prayer that Naruto wouldn't develop a sudden love of green, Gai gave them the most youthful goddamn sexual education speech ever, with Lei feverently taking notes as well as Naruto, turns out Gai knew a few tricks Jiraiya didn't.

With Lei by Naruto's side, exhaustion became a part of life, whether it was collapsing in a sweaty heap in a training ground, or collapsing in bed from other "youthful" activities.

Jiraiya was glad to find that no matter where they passed out, he always had enough research to fill a couple of notebooks.

* * *

A/N: That last bit there (the zinger) was written by The Immortal Doctor Reid. In fact, all the zingers were.


End file.
